A note on loving yourself

In my final year of university I found myself in a relationship with a guy I thought I really liked but who didn't seem to like me all that much. Now, if he read this, he'd be heartbroken and tell you that's nonsense, and perhaps he'd be right, but for ten straight months I spent every day questioning where I was going wrong. How could I make him care? Was I dressing the wrong way? Was I annoying? Did he not enjoy my company? Did I need to talk about different topics, be more classy, more educated, prettier, skinnier? Each day I carefully monitored my actions to try and achieve the seemingly impossible- being worthy of his affection.

I'm well aware how pathetic this sounds and in hindsight, I'm a little ashamed of myself. I was so concerned with pleasing another person that I was completely neglecting to please myself. I built my opinion of myself around the compliments (or lack of) that he gave me and decided that if I wasn't worthy of him then I was worthless altogether. At the very same time, I was achieving first class grades in my university work, giving my time for free on several voluntary projects and maintaining a vast number of successful friendships, all of which should have given me some hint that I was far from useless.

Since ending that relationship and taking some time to myself, I've decided that an attitude change is in order. Some people will love you, some will hate you, and some just won't care either way and sometimes that can be the hardest. Learning to love yourself is absolutely vital, and way more important than being loved by other people. I'm now unashamedly proud of my achievements and have more belief in myself than ever, all without the constant approval of a significant other. Of course, I'm not advising marching around and announcing all the things that make you wonderful, but I think if we all spent a bit more time announcing to ourselves all of the things that make us wonderful, we'd all be in a happier place.

So take a bit of time for some self love, remind yourself of all the amazing things you've achieved and never rely on anyone else to make you feel worthwhile. You're awesome.

Laura xo